i fall but when i rise i’ll be stronger than ever
You can’t blame me. I mean that literally. You’re incapable of blaming me. You’re human. Being human is choosing freedom over imprisonment, autonomy over dependency, liberty over servitude. You can’t blame me because you know (come on, man, you’ve always known) that the idea of spending eternity with nothing to do except praise God is utterly unappealing. You’d be catatonic after an hour. Heaven’s a swiz because to get in you have to leave yourself outside. You can’t blame me because — now do please be honest with yourself for once — you’d have left, too.
I dreamed that James Bond and Hannibal were life partners who had adopted Allison Argent from Teen Wolf.
Family Night was rather awkward.
Marcy and Bonnie.
in stories featuring aliens, they’re always like “on my planet this never happens!” or “in my culture, this differs from your human culture.” and that’s neat and all because i like worldbuilding and all that jazz but wouldn’t it be fun if they just. couldn’t do that?
i want a story where humans encounter an alien who frustrates them because they don’t know enough to tell them anything concrete
like humans will ask “tell us about politics in your planet!” and the alien’s all “uh… hold on it’s been a while since i took gov. um….”
"what sorts of plants grow on your planet?"
"i dunno i grew up in the suburbs. they’re like… purple? idk what you want me to say"
"tell us about the culture on your planet!"
"do you have any idea how many fucking countries are back home, i don’t even know where to begin"
"your planet is obviously much more scientifically and technologically advanced than ours. is it possible for you to enlighten us on certain matters concerning space travel, or would that be a form of interference you must avoid?"
"naw it’s cool, it’s just that, um, i’m a philosophy major"
i kind of really like this friendship?? idk
New photo of Emma from possibly UN Women
Out of all our sisters, I hated you least
When I asked to see a customer’s ID yesterday he pulled out a card that said FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION.
My immediate thought was, I’m tired today because I stayed up too late reading about one of your coworkers getting fucked by Hannibal Lecter both literally and figuratively, does that sort of thing ever happen at the office?
Out loud, I said, “Thank you, sir.”
we all f a l l down…
bury a bit of our souls
six feet underground